#legit in the car on the way to the client and calls “hey I'm on my way to pick you up to go now”

[x22817]

Barn Hunt may or may not happen anymore. The rats are no longer sick, so tonight was supposed to be the first of six weeks. I feel like shit, but that's only partially the reason we didn't go.

I was originally informed that this was going to occur approximately a 20 minute drive away from home. Apparent fuckin ly it's an hour drive. I really want to go but two hours for a half hour class where we only get one attempt is a LOT of driving. I don't even drive an hour total jumping from client to client for work each day.

Plus, it's at 8pm. That's late af for me. I go to bed at 10pm at the very latest. I'm fighting to stay awake by 8pm. 8pm is also NOT 6pm. Another thing I was misinformed about when agreeing to this.

[dis--parity]

⚡️ craziest shit you've ever done?

Honest Answers Only // Accepting! | @punkbites

『🍬』 "Okay, so, this is the story of a fuckin' lifetime, so strap in. So, like... this comes from the time when I was still, y'know... couch surfing, sleeping in motels and hostels and shit like that, doin'... that kinda work. Y'know, the oldest profession. Shitty time of my life, but... it had it's moments. Like this.

So, I had this client, some dude in his mid-thirties, and, y'know the kinda fuckin' creeps you deal with in this business, them with the younger types. So this stanky dude gives me a fifty to give him head in his car, and I'm like, fuck it, fine, fifty dollars is fifty dollars. I take a tab of acid beforehand, and it's goin', like... as well as you could expect. Fuckin' rough dude, relatively speakin', but that's just how the bullshit goes in that line of work.

Anyway, I don't even get done, and the dude just... starts fuckin' driving. Like- I had to stop myself from biting his dick off, but, shit, I quickly find out I probably should've, 'cause the look in his eyes, I took one look and I knew exactly what he was gonna do. So, I fuckin' panic, I reach over while I'm still down there, open the door, and fuckin' boot him out. And, like- I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, I dunno what the fuck he was trying to do, I don't think to ask him, but fuck if I'm gonna end the night in a ditch, dead or SA'd or both!

So, I push him to the curb and I take the wheel, door on his fuckin' cheap-ass two-seater sedan still swingin' open, and he's yelling, screaming, running after me, when I notice something. All in the back of that fuckin' car, he's got a fuckton of fireworks, still in the boxes, God knows what for. So I grab the key fob and pop the trunk, get my lighter out from my jacket pocket and fuckin' light those suckers up.

And soon after, this fuckin' dude just starts screeching as these fireworks are flyin' at him, I'm having the time of my fuckin' life, duckin' under the dashboard and driving off while all this is going down! Like, it legit took me a few minutes to notice that I wasn't just hot because of the adrenaline, but the fireworks launching actually made the fuckin' car catch on fire! So, still panicking, I just swerve off the road, dive out the car, and I end up rollin' down a hill, car still hurtling on ahead of me in a fuckin' blaze of glory.

Takes me a minute to stop, but it's dark out and there's no way the dude's gonna find me now. So then I'm just... lying there in the grass, lettin' the high run it's course. I don't even know how long passes, but eventually I text another friend of mine in the biz like 'hey, can you come pick me up, I'm fucked up and need a better ride than what my latest would've given me'. So, she comes to pick me up and I get back to the hostel I was at.

Aftermath of that is, the dude tried to call the police on me for damages to the car, but he didn't even know my name and he admitted to soliciting my services, so he was lined up for five years. Then it was found out he was a sexual predator - like, serial type shit, so it became twenty years in cell block one for that motherfucker. Love to hate the dude, but, shit... that night still lives rent free in my head.